SIA Voices: Self-Care and Nurturing
SIA (Still I Am) is a unique and specialist service that offers counselling and trauma support to survivors of sexual violence from black and minority ethnic (BME) communities. In the SIA project we support women, the trans community and non-binary people, who are over 16 years old and have experienced any form of unwanted sexual experience.
At SIA we are here to listen to you and support, take things at your own pace and we would never put pressure on you to disclose something you don’t feel comfortable with. We will also listen and learn from you.
In this blog, survivors that have been supported at the SIA project share with us ideas on how they practice self-care and how they nurture and prioritise themselves in everyday life.
Self-care and nurturing
Self-care requires you to find some time to prioritise yourself and listen to your needs. It can take different forms from taking care of your body to your emotional wellbeing or doing something that you really enjoy.
Body self-care
Working out, practicing yoga, walking, dancing and any activity that keeps your body moving and you enjoy can make you feel stronger.
“I treat my body well and carefully by exercising; when my body gets stronger I also feel stronger inside.”
Other survivors have found that taking some time to take care and massage their bodies feels very nurturing. Applying textures they like or smells that bring them happy and peaceful memories.
“I want to nurture and take good care of myself and my body; this body that was once tortured, not appreciated and hurt by others. I want now to nurture it, love it and care for it.”
“I will respect and nurture my body by washing it and massaging it gently and patiently. I will do the same with my hair.”
Getting enough sleep is also important. Sometimes getting to sleep can be hard so finding our own personal ways that can help relax our body and mind is important. Some people might breathe deeply and scan their whole body by relaxing gradually their head and go all the way to their toes.
For others breathing might be harder and therefore they will find other ways:
“Sometimes when I find hard to sleep because I am stressed or scared I will hold myself tight and rock myself to sleep like a mother does to her child; this is how I manage to relax and fall asleep.”
Taking care of yourself by protecting your senses; having access to smells, pictures and sounds that make you feel calm and relaxed and try to observe and be aware of the smells, visuals and sounds that do the opposite.
“I have brought some herbals from my home country that when I smell them they take me back to the safety of my home.”
“I find loud noises and people shouting stressful so sometimes I will wear a set of broken headphones so I can make the external sounds smoother; that makes me feel safer and less on edge. I will wear inside and outside the house.”
Emotional self-care and nurturing
Keeping a box with positive affirmations about things you would like to remind yourself every day or talk to yourself using compassionate tone and supportive words.
“I like to look myself in the mirror and tell myself I am strong and beautiful.”
“I have written on a paper that I keep always with me that I managed to survive, I am safe now and I am never going back.”
Having time to self-reflect and observe the connection between emotions, mind and thoughts.
Keeping a self-compassion and self-care journal with questions such as:
How am I feeling today? What do I need?
What have I done well today? What am I proud of?
If things are difficult, what would I tell a good friend?
“I like to write on my journal about my thoughts and feelings and track any changes.”
Taking some time to focus on your breathing:
“Whenever I feel stressed I will try to breathe in and out deeply. I will try to inhale blessings and light and exhale negative thoughts and fears.”
Spiritual empowerment and praying
Praying to God or visualising a compassionate protector can be empowering as the journey of life feels more hopeful and less lonely. Many times at SIA, survivors have taught us the benefits of praying.
“I pray every day as it gives me hope for the future. When things were too hard in my life I turned to God for guidance; when I was abandoned by my family for leaving my abusive husband I did not feel alone, as I felt that God was on my side."
“I believe that God knows I am a good person and that even if justice is not applied now I believe in Karma.”
“When I pray I think of all the blessings I have and I am thankful for them.”
Self-care can happen spontaneously but if you are in the beginning of your self-care journey having a self-care daily schedule might be helpful to find time during the day (even a couple of minutes) to reflect on what your body and mind need at that time. Or scheduling time for self-care activities or self-reflection during specific times. Another way of practicing self-care is by creating a self-care box where you will keep all those things you like and make you feel good about yourself so you can remember of all the different options you have.
We would like to thank all the survivors who took part in interviews and shared what they have been doing for self-care and nurturing which are very insightful and supportive to other survivors.
You can contact the SIA project at:
Text: 07850 095 088
Email: SIA@ercc.scot
