SIA Voices: Flashbacks and Grounding

SIA (Still I Am) is a unique and specialist service that offers counselling and trauma support to survivors of sexual violence from black and minority ethnic (BME) communities. In the SIA project we support women, the trans community and non-binary people, who are over 16 years old and have experienced any form of unwanted sexual experience.

In this blog, survivors that have been supported at the SIA project share with us ideas on how they practice grounding and cope with flashbacks.

What are flashbacks?

Flashbacks are a “natural” and common response by our brain to traumatic events. They can be part of the healing journey but at the same time they can feel very scary as they give a sense of re-living the traumatic experience. Flashbacks can be accompanied by dissociation, meaning that you might have a temporary loss of self and your surroundings, and a mental journey back to the traumatic memory.

Flashbacks can be “triggered” by specific smells, something visual, sounds, situations or intrusive thoughts that have a connection with a traumatic memory. Sometimes when those “triggers” are observed and identified it might help for flashbacks to become more predicted.

Using notes or a diary to observe

One of our SIA survivors had started writing down what was happening before her flashbacks or dissociation symptoms which then helped her get more prepared before those were coming.

“Writing down what was happening before my flashbacks was a painful procedure as I would prefer to forget about them and move on. When this was not possible, I made a list of as many things as I could remember and realised that I had some signs in my body before the flashbacks but I also had so many triggers in my everyday life, from smells to sounds and colours. It seemed though that some of them could be easily avoided or would not happen as often when I was preparing myself mentally for them or by trying grounding exercises”

Using your voice

“When I have flashbacks I tell myself that now I am safe, I have survived and those memories belong to the past.”

“I will tell myself where I live now and maybe the day or year so I can make the sense of safety and the present even stronger”

“I might need to call my sister and listen to her telling me that I am safe now and never going back”.

Using your senses

Eyes

Looking around and noticing shapes and colours or tiny details in your environment that you have never noticed before.

“When I am outside I try to observe the nature around me or the sky. The different shapes of clouds or the fact that there are so many different flowers and plants coming all from the same soil; I try to observe their leaves, colours and different shapes. Once I remember finding 7 different colours on the same flower.”

Ears

Listening to the sounds outside your window, or the various sounds that you can only hear when you are very quiet and pay very close attention.

“I know I have sounds that I find triggering but I also know there are sounds that I find calming or bring me back to the present.”

“I like to listen to loud church music because the lyrics remind me where I am now and that I am strong and safe.”

Nose

“I have some strong essential oils that when I smell them they “wake up” my senses more and bring me back to the here and now. I now carry them with me just in case I need them when I am out.”

Mouth

“Drinking a hot cup of tea is something I do after flashbacks. I am not sure if it is a gesture of self-care or if it actually helps me ground myself, but I know I find it helpful.”

Touch

Touching different surfaces or exploring different temperatures can also be helpful in grounding after a flashback or before you feel one might happen.

“I will touch the cold wall if I am lying on bed and try to think how it feels; if it smooth, has cracks, how cold it is.”

“If I am at home I might take my shoes off to feel the floor and either walk barefoot or explore the floor with my feet; the surface and temperature.”

“I have gathered some stones from the garden. They feel so smooth and I also like observing their colours and shapes. I keep them in a box at home or put one in my bag when I go out. When I feel stressed or triggered I take one in my hands and explore its edges with my fingers. That helps me get back to the present.”

Using your body or rest

“Walking fast big distances makes me feel more present. The wind on my face makes me feel alive.”

“When I am kneeling and put my forehead on the floor as if I am praying, I try to feel that all the traumatic memories are travelling from my head to the earth and that a light from the sky or God is showering me with blessings. Once my head is empty of the bad thoughts, I will then think of all the things I am grateful for.”

“I might need to hug my children or myself using a scarf or a blanket very tight.”

“Sometimes I am so exhausted after a flashback I just want to take a warm shower and sleep.”

Using your breath

Breathing mindfully either on your own or by listening to a breathing relaxation recording have been helpful for many SIA survivors. Some people like to focus on the sense of the air as it comes in and out of their lungs or others might prefer to visualise a balloon in their stomach that expands and shrinks.

“When I am praying I take deep breaths and just let the bad thoughts come and pass like clouds and try to think of all the things I am grateful for.”

We would like to thank all the survivors who took part in interviews and shared what they have been doing for self-care and nurturing which are very insightful and supportive to other survivors.

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For support:

Rape Crisis Scotland's helpline offers free and confidential support and information. They offer support to anyone aged 13 and over, of any gender, affected by any form of sexual violence, no matter when or how it happened. They support survivors, as well as family, friends and supporters.

Rape Crisis Scotland's helpline can arrange for free language interpreters, including British Sign Language, to access support if your first language is not English.

Helpline: 08088 01 03 02 (6pm - midnight every night)

Text: 07537 410 027