My Story

This November, we hear from a young man sharing his story and his experience of working with the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre's project for young survivors, the STAR Project. We would like to thank him for sharing his story and part of his journey with us. I am an 18 year old transgender man, currently accessing support at Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre. I self-referred to STAR after disclosing to my family that I had experienced grooming and sexual violence when I was a young adolescent. My family wanted me to report the abuse I had experienced to the police. When I started working with STAR, I felt pressured by my family, and also by myself, to report, so that the perpetrator wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else in the future. I felt that I bore the burden of having to stop this man, once and for all. My goal, when I started working with my STAR counsellor, was to reach the point where I felt confident enough to report.

The pressure to report, together with all the emotional and physical turmoil of transitioning, as well as the responsibilities of being a young adult was really hard to deal with. As I attended my STAR counselling sessions, I began to realise that I felt quite overwhelmed. I came into one of my support sessions with STAR and broke down crying, telling my counsellor that it was all getting too much for me to deal with. My counsellor was very supportive, and helped me to understand that I had the choice, that I didn’t have to report, and that I could prioritise myself and my own needs, at least some of the time. Since that day, I have been looking after myself a bit more. I have decided not to report now: its too much to deal with on top of everything else. I have realised that there are other ways I can resolve what has happened to me and move on in my own way. I want to focus on my future studies and career now, on my relationship with my partner, and on transitioning.

When I was younger, I attended counselling sessions with the NHS because of the abuse I had experienced by a close family member. Those sessions helped me, because I can now talk about what happened without feeling overwhelmed. But those sessions never felt quite as welcoming as the ones that I have had at the ERCC, with STAR. A few weeks ago, I told my STAR counsellor that the counselling with her was the best I had ever had. She was very moved, and said that it was a huge honour to work with me, which felt really nice to hear.