Suicide Awareness Month 2018

September is Suicide Awareness Month, and the 10th of September 2018 marks World Suicide Prevention Day. Here, one of our support workers Lindsay, shares some thoughts to raise awareness of suicide and the impact on survivors of sexual violence.

It is not unusual for survivors of sexual violence to have thoughts of suicide and self-harm. Sometimes survivors can have thoughts wishing for an end to the pain of trauma, rather than thoughts about wanting to die. This does not mean that you are going crazy or that there is something wrong with you. Trauma can be devastating, and can leave survivors feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. It is not unusual to be struggling to cope, sometimes weeks but often years after the trauma.

At the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre, we often hear survivors express some of the following;

“I can’t cope”

“I feel I can’t go on anymore.”

“I feel so alone”

“It will never go away so what’s the point going on?”

“I just wish it would all end”

It is important that you are not alone with these thoughts. You may be feeling isolated, with a sense that no one understands what you are going through. At times like these, it can be helpful to have others to talk to, such as a worker on a helpline or email service. ERCC offer the following as ideas for coping with suicidal thoughts.

Have a source of support that you can contact at difficult times. Rape Crisis Scotland is open daily from 6pm-midnight and their workers will support you, you can call them freephone on 08088 01 03 02. You can arrange to have appointments at the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre or access email support on support@ercc.scot . It is also a good idea to try to build a support network of two or three places/people, for instance your GP, a friend, a therapist, a support group.

Have a crisis plan. The Samaritans are open 24 hours a day, and you can call them on 116 123. Have a safe place you can go to, have a safe person to call/text, and an idea of some safe activities to do in a crisis. Plan for managing triggers, for instance getting up for a walk or escaping to the toilet or outside to have time to breathe and feel calm, or do ‘grounding’ exercises such as tapping the toes or holding a comforting object.

Have a comfort list. This means writing down your reasons to keep going, the things that give you meaning or hope, the things that help you to feel safe. On the really difficult days, keep your list nearby as a resource.

Recognise your survival. You can do this in whatever way feels right to you. Some people write a letter to themselves, to acknowledge that they have survived and been being brave through difficult times. You don’t have to wait to be ‘healed’ in order to recognise that you survived the trauma. You had the will to live through that trauma, so try to see that will and strength within if possible.

Be kind to yourself. Often when feeling hopeless, people can be hard on themselves. Try to give yourself positive messages whenever you can, and to receive them from others. It is important to hear that other people can value you and feel hope for you, even when you feel none for yourself.

Channel your anger safely. Survivors have often had to bottle up or disconnect from their anger and rage at the violation of sexual violence. When these feelings are bottled up they can turn destructive and self-harming. It is important to honour these feelings, validate them, and find safe ways to express them, for instance talking in support sessions, connecting with creativity such as music, painting, dancing.

Remember that these thoughts emerge from the distress and challenges of trauma, and that there is nothing wrong with you. It is hard to feel hopeful when you are dealing with the fact that someone chose to cause harm to you, and it is important that you are not alone as you come to terms with this fact, as you grieve and rage over this, and as you look for those healthy resources and healthy people who can support you through this. Contact the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre on support@ercc.scot for support.